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Husband, father, grandfather, friend...a few of the roles acquired in 62 years of living.  I keep an upbeat attitude, loving humor and the singular freedom of a perfect laugh.  I don't let curmudgeons ruin my day; that only gives them power over me.  Having experienced death once, I no longer fear it, although I am still frightened by the process of dying.  I love to write because it allows me the freedom to vent those complex feelings that bounce restlessly off the walls of my mind; and express the beauty that can only be found within the human heart.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

An Exercise in Gullibility*

*Johnstown, PA Tribune-Democrat
July 11, 2010
as "Humorous Lesson in Identity Theft Education"

One of the most effective of the email scams is the so-called "Nigerian Scam."  In it, the sender spins a tale of revolution and chaos, resulting in the need to relocate the subject nation's material wealth off-shore to keep it from being seized by whomever the enemy is.  This was a tactic primarily used by Nigerian criminal groups and has proven to be shockingly effective, as Americans, always eager for the quick buck, pass their vital information.  Of course, the criminals then drain acounts, flatten credit card accounts, as well as apply for other loans in that person's name.


As a joke, I posted a version of this on a website I belong to, and was amazed at how many took it seriously, despite the oh-so-obvious names in the "letter."  So here for your humorous enjoyment...

Dear Friend,

My name is Umaylme I. Robyu and I am the Undersecretary of the Treasury for the sovereign nation of Udumtu Antzer. Recently, our government has come under immense pressure from militant rebels led by the renegade General Yullbe Sahri, and a coup is imminent. Social order has broken down and our people are fleeing the capitol city, Baibai Cache, in hopes of finding refuge in the Yurpornow Mountains.

I have been directed by our President, Ushuda DeLeetthis, to disperse our governments assets to safe holding accounts in the United States, in order to keep our national wealth from falling into rebel hands.

Due to some unfortunate political decisions regarding support of recent American elections by our esteemed Ambassador, Wedrayne Akowntz, we find ourselves without official friends in the current U.S. administration. Since they have refused to assist us, I am making this personal appeal to you.

My Chief of Staff, Mr. DeNyle Ovzervyce and I have formulated a foolproof scenario. We have made arrangements with a local gemstone dealer in Chicago to receive our liquid funds which will be used to purchase quantities of Deesarfayke diamonds, our national gemstone. The dealer has given us a very good price and has assured us that subsequent re-sell should net the agent around 40% profit.

What we need you to do is contact our Chicago Agent, Mr. Lahjik Bahm, and purchase as many of these diamonds as appropriate to your resources. All you will need to secure the purchase is the account, signature code numbers, and expiration date of your three most available credit cards (in order to avoid intrusive government taxation and tariffs), as well as the routing and account numbers. Including your online logins and passwords can greatly expedite this process.

Once you have completed the purchase, our shipping agent, Bain Krupt, will pass your stones via 3-day parcel delivery. Then, all you need to do is post an ad on your inventive website called E-bay. I have been assured that traffic will be immediate and heavy and the diamonds should sell very quickly. Put the proceeds of the sales in your checking account, and contact our U.S. attaché, Hegotyu Bydabalz at the Bank of Cahleen Uhout who will remove our cost from your account. The balance is yours to keep as a token of our appreciation for your service.

Thank you for your time and attention. I know you, as all Americans, have great respect for the cause of freedom and independence and will want to act to preserve the sovereignty of a grateful nation.

Sincerely,
Umaylme I. Robyu
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