Dreams That Come in Grandkids

 

Copyright © 2021

by Ralph F. Couey

Something wonderful happens to folks when they get grandchildren. The arrival of these chubby little bundles instantly become the most important things in life.  And the most beautiful and precious.

I suppose there's something anthropological going on here.  At its absolute base, the reason for life is to ensure the future by perpetuating the species.  But as we know, it goes way beyond that.  We are all linked to those people we call family, either by blood or marriage, and further connected by the generations that preceded us.  We, in turn, pass what we are to those who will carry those pieces of us into the future.

A couple of years ago, we took Mom out for her birthday to a restaurant in Aiea.  As the evening wore down, I gathered all the women present into a group photo, representing four generations.  It was and still is a powerful image.  One of the great sorrows that accompanied the corruption of my phone's memory card was the loss of that picture.  But it remains in my memory clear and sharp, a monument to the beauty of generations. 

I can trace my lineage back to 11th century France.  Cheryl's Okinawan and Japanese roots go back even further.  It's hard at times to wrap my head around the sheer length of those histories.  It also challenges me to make sure the future stays linked to those familial lines.

To a grandparent, a grandchild links sons and daughters and their parents in an even more personal way.  Now, we have both been parents.   Also, that child is the manifestation of that family's history and the hope for its future.  On a personal level, a grandchild is a vessel ready to accept the avalanche of love (and spoiling) that only a grandparent can give.

Raising children is hard.  It's also a joy.  On a day-to-day level, parents live in the trenches, providing food, shelter, and transportation to a myriad of activities.  A person can get so caught up in those duties that at times they become blind to the sheer wonder of a kid growing up.  Grandparents, not submerged in the daily logistics are able to take a longer more contemplative view of watching them grow.  Especially for Grands who are separated from the kids by any significant distance (say, the Pacific Ocean plus a continent) through the miracle of technology can still interact through video chat and see them.  But they've never yet invented any device that can do hugs.

Kids are always changing by the minute.  Turn your back for an instant and years seem to have passed.  We watch as the take stock of their gifts and talents and decide what path can bring them the most joy, satisfaction, and the fattest paycheck.  They make decisions and focus their energies in fields of their choosing.  At some point, they will meet someone who will help define their future, and all the possibilities that entails.  

But these will be all their choices, and hopefully, we've contributed a little piece of wisdom that will come in handy some day.  What they become is not as important as how fulfilled they are.  For all the dreams Grandparents dream for their Grandchildren, the most important one of all is that they are happy.