Age, and the Immortal Mortals

"Heroes are often treated as gods,

seemingly immortal to the young eyes

which behold them.

But there is no more devastating moment

when those same gods have aged;

and those no-longer young eyes can see 

that they who were once thought immortal 

were mortal all along."

--Ralph F. Couey

Copyright © 2021

by Ralph F. Couey

Growing up, I had heroes, like everyone else.  And like most other boys, they were athletes, mainly because they were on TV all the time, and that was the window through which I viewed the world.  I related before about my brief face-to-face with Mickey Mantle, and how much power that moment had, and still has for me.  I still remember Saturdays on NBC, watching Koufax, Drysdale, Mantle, Mays, McCovey, Colavito, Yastrzemski, and all the others who were living my dreams.  In their prime, they were tremendous athletes, seemingly capable of all kinds of heroics at the drop of a hat.

But time exacts a price.  People get old, muscles get weak, minds become weak, injuries refuse to heal.  We still see them on occasion, showing up at old-timers games, or ceremonial occasions.  It is always a shock to see what age has done to them.

A number of years ago, an old-timers game was played before one of the All Star games.  All the old heroes were there, gimpy, wrinkly, some showing a gut where once was a flat belly.  J. R. Richard had been a fireballing pitcher for the old Houston Astros, a man with blazing speed and pinpoint control.  During this contest, he came out to the mound for his half-inning -- and couldn't get the ball to the plate.  Pitch after pitch looped in and dropped on the grass in front of the hitter.  It was so sad to watch.  On another occasion in Houston, former running back Earl Campbell was to be honored.  Now, Earl had been a player of recent vintage, at least to my perspective.  He was a powerful man, an intimidating runner with absolutely the largest and strongest legs I've ever seen on a human being.  His name was announced and the crowd came to their feet.  Here came Earl Campbell.

In a wheelchair.

We want to think that our heroes will never age, will always be the same as we remembered them.  But this is not realistic, particularly for those of us whose best years lay behind us.

I read a lot of history, and am intrigued by the accounts of great people who accomplished incredible things.  The older accounts of people who lived before the camera was invented, are decorated with oil paintings, which after all are an expression of the artist's impressions.  The portraits of George Washington, for example, don't differ a lot from early on through the Revolution.  It is in the presidential portraits where we see the impact of the years.  

My Birthday; My Life

 

"Past a certain point, a person begins to realize 

that every year which passes deposits things

of great value into the account of life.

The arrival of wisdom is when we realize

that because of age and experience,

and what they've taught us, life hasn't made us old. 

But rather wealthier than our wildest dreams."

--Ralph F. Couey

Copyright © 2021

by Ralph F. Couey

May 23rd is my birthday, and by the time you read this, that day will have arrived, so it is appropriate for me to post my annual reflections of this day.

Some people yearn for the return of their youth.  That is literally the last thing I want.  I remember me when I was young, insecure, dumb, impulsive, and absolutely no clue of who or what I was supposed to be.  While I may have had energy and ambition, I had no direction, so those years became a kind of nightmare of wandering through a forest, having lost track of the trail.  I suppose what is wanted is to have that youth back coupled with the knowledge and wisdom acquired into old age.  It doesn't work like that.  If we could step into a time machine and go back to our 20's, we'd still find a brain stuffed full of bad decisions.  

Today, I've reached the age of 66, as someone once opined, "two-thirds of the way to Hell."  But as I considered the state of me, I realized that I really didn't have much to complain about.  Of course, I have health issues, but overall because of my commitment to diet and exercise, in many ways I'm in the best shape of my life.  My crises were all in my 40's and 50's, and now in the past.  Instead of gloom, all I see are possibilities.

I've been thinking about how I'm different now.  I remember being young, and feeling that softball was so much a part of my life, that I feared getting to the point I couldn't do it anymore.  In the middle of my motorcycle years, I feared the moment when that joyous activity had to be set aside.  But those moments came and went, oddly without the anticipated trauma.  The last game of softball I played, I was thrown out at first base by the left fielder because I just couldn't get down the baseline fast enough.  I faced that moment with a great deal more pragmatism than I expected.  I walked away from the game that day and really haven't missed it at all.  I remember that last motorcycle ride I had, a delightful spin through the Shenandoah, a day of fall colors and dappled sunlight.  I sold the bike a month or so later, because I realized that my reaction time had slowed to the point where riding in traffic had become dangerous.  Again, I walked away.  I still miss those rides, but those memories will be with me forever.

I now have a Mustang, fulfilling the dream of that 9-year-old boy who still exists deep inside.  I feel young again driving that car, and even eight months into this relationship, each time I get behind the wheel is still as exciting as the first time was.  I'm so very grateful to have experienced this.

Moving On!

"V" for Vaccinated!

"If you are pained by external things, 

it is not that they disturb you,

but your own judgement of them. 

 And it is in your power

to wipe out that judgement."

--Marcus Aurelius

Copyright © 2021

by Ralph F. Couey

Life has hurdles, or sometimes just speedbumps, those moments when, in anticipation there is anxiety, and when past, a sense of relief.  For many of us during this Pandemic, its been that moment when a point has been reached that at least a large part of the danger has passed.  When the vaccines began their rollout, we were told that when a certain percentage of the population had received the shot(s) something called "herd immunity" would have been reached.  For an increasing number of cities across the Mainland, that point has been reached.  Mask mandates have been rescinded and that illusive thing called "normal life" is once again in reach.

For me, that moment was Wednesday when I received my second Moderna shot.  I was worried about the after-effects after hearing all the horror stories.  Our youngest, when she got her second shot, became very ill, with a 103-degree fever.  Our son had a milder effect, body aches, dizziness, and fatigue.  In between were all the other stories.  

But I had a plan.

I did my homework.  After reading everything I could reach for, and talking to those whose experience was mild, I realized that there were some things I had to do.  The first was to drink as much water as I could hold.  I buy Propel brand water by the case, because it has electrolytes.  This is very good for people like me who perspire a lot during exercise. Also, it's flavored, and much more interesting than plain old water.  The water comes in 16.9-ounce bottles (why they can't squeeze one more tenth of an ounce in there is beyond me), and I normally drink several bottles a day.  For this event, I started that morning, drinking two bottles before getting the shot. Throughout the rest of the day, I downed twelve more bottles.  I made sure that I was thoroughly hydrated.

Secondly, I exercised.  When I got back from the vaccine site, I went straight for my dumbbells.  Normally, my routine takes about 25 to 30 minutes.  That day, I worked for 90 minutes, focusing on the biceps and triceps. This was to make sure that the drugs did not sit there in the muscle, but were forced to circulate.  Once my weight work was done, I went out and walked 4.5 miles.  I stayed active the rest of the day, doing yardwork and other things, resisting the urge to collapse on the couch.  Oddly, for the rest of that day, I had a rush of energy like I haven't experienced in a while.  I finally ran out of gas about 9:30 and went to bed.  

The next morning, I rolled out about 6:30 and took my mother-in-law to her daycare.  I felt a significant body ache, but honestly couldn't separate that from what I expected after my hard workout the day before.  I came back home and worked with the weights for awhile.  I still felt pretty good, and was hoping that the horror stories of "the day after" would not apply to me.  But, about noon, somewhere inside me, a switch was thrown, and I was hit by a crippling wave of exhaustion.  I still had chores to attend to, but it was hard.  When I wheeled the trash bin out to the street, I had to sit and rest, once on the way down, and once on the way back. Knowing that I couldn't work in this condition, I called off sick. after which I collapsed on the couch and began clearing the backlog of Law & Order episodes on the DVR.  It got warm inside the house, so I set up my zero gravity chair in a shady spot in the back yard, and that's where I spent the balance of the day.  It was like that up until about 8:30 pm before I began to rebound.  

Random Thoughts

Copyright © 2021

by Ralph F. Couey

It's been a busy couple of weeks.  Yes, we finally closed on the house and the documents were properly recorded, so we are homeowners once again.  Nothing has changed for Cheryl's mom, though.  As far as she is concerned, it's still her house and will remain so for the foreseeable future.  She needs that consistency, and there's no real reason to say anything, as it would only confuse her.  She's still a loving, gentle soul, a joy to be around when she's oriented.  I'm glad I'm around to have this time with her.  The house is in need of several things, not the least of which is an additional bathroom.  But any improvements will have to wait for awhile.  

My dumbbell regimen is going well.  I've increased weight twice, and now that those muscles are toned, I'm adding reps as well.  I'm beginning to see some results, not a beach bod by any stretch, but changes are happening.  I'm still having some trouble finding enough time to do my walking, but as my schedule begins to even out, I think that time will make itself available.  It's not just the exercise, but just getting outside makes a huge difference to my general mood.  I've come to realize that what goes on inside my brain is just as important as building muscles and wind.  

For me, life is a rhythm, a daily beat of activities and responsibilities.  I lost that rhythm in the past few weeks, and I could tell that the uproar was affecting me.  Now that all that hoorah is behind us, I'm beginning to regain that rhythm, not the least of which is frequent visits to this site.

I received round one of the Moderna vaccine, and round two will be administered May 11th, which is the first day of my "weekend."  I planned to be sick the next day, so I've cleared my calendar.  In talking to others, I get a mixed bag of experience.  Some got deathly ill, others had no effect at all.  One of my colleagues said all that happened was that he slept for 18 hours.  I know that overwhelming fatigue was a clear result of shot #1 for me, so maybe that'll be the worst of it.  Anyway, it'll be good to have that behind us.  Having been fully vaccinated, we will be able to travel with a clear conscience.  And a worry-free mind.  We are fervently looking forward to seeing our grandkids again.  Seeing them on Zoom et. al. drives home the point of how rapidly they are growing and changing.  We're missing the best years of their lives, and that just can't go on. Fortunately, Robbie and his fam will be out sometime in August for a visit, and that day can't arrive soon enough.  Our Colorado grandkids we hopefully will get to visit before then, provided my employer the Hawai'i Emergency Management Agency allows me to leave the state.  There's a lot of good pandemic news from the Mainland, but around here the fear has taken hold, and people seem to be far more comfortable with the fear, despite what the numbers are showing.  

Vaccinations are down, starting with the news about the Johnson & Johnson side effects.  While the occurrence of the problems were very small -- 6 cases out of about 7 million shots -- it was enough to give people pause.  I can understand that, but folks have to know that in order for normal to be restored, those shots need to happen.  It's the only way to get to herd immunity.  Its the only way to get our lives back.