Exploring the myriad mysteries of life, from beyond the furthest reaches of the universe to the quiet sanctuary of the human heart.
About Me
- Ralph F. Couey
- Pearl City, HI, United States
- Husband, father, grandfather, friend...a few of the roles acquired in 69 years of living. I keep an upbeat attitude, loving humor, and the singular freedom of a perfect laugh. I don't let curmudgeons ruin my day; that only gives them power over me. Having experienced death once, I no longer fear it, although I am still frightened by the process of dying. I love to write because it allows me the freedom to vent those complex feelings that bounce restlessly off the walls of my mind and express the beauty that can only be found within the human heart.
Sunday, June 08, 2025
"How Terribly Strange to be Seventy"
Tuesday, April 29, 2025
Speech: Preserving the Past, Gifting it to the Future
Good Evening,
On behalf of the USS Missouri Memorial Association, I want to welcome you and express our sincere and heartfelt gratitude for the many ways you continue to support Battleship Missouri and its programs.
My name is Ralph Couey. I am a tour guide and a former crew member of Missouri, serving from 1988 to 1990, the last two years of my Navy career. I was a Chief Petty Officer in charge of Combat Engagement Center and the 65 good men who worked there. As you might expect, many memories lurk among the passageways and compartments, ready to ambush me unexpectedly. I can tell you that the first day I came back aboard to work here was an emotional experience. I remember entering the ship's interior, being enveloped by that familiar scent of steel, paint, and fuel oil, and knowing I had returned home.
Since that day, I’ve had nothing but fun, and I am so pleased and proud to work with such a great crew. I am hard-pressed to remember when I’ve been around a happier, more caring group of people.
There are many memorials in the United States, touchstones of times of challenge and adversity, times that demanded from each of us our best efforts, passions, courage, and, most importantly, our unity. These places are where we can return to those moments and eras that molded us both as a nation and a people. It is good that those events can still inspire us because it is so vital that we remember our past. We must honor those who went before, stood up to the dangers, and did the arduous work that brought us to this day. Their stories, those accounts we need to tell and re-tell again.
Memory is fickle. Time has a way of softening details and changing perceptions. For a given event in history, there are two groups of people: those who remember and those who learn. We who were around and cogent on that terrible day we know as 9/11 have strong memories of that tragedy, driven by shock, sorrow, and, yes, rage. We watched, most on television, some who were present as those aircraft knifed into both buildings of the World Trade Center. We learned about the attack on the Pentagon and watched with disbelieving eyes as that great concrete battleship burned. We heard about Flight 93 and the heroism of those passengers and crew who sacrificed their lives and prevented an even larger tragedy. That day unfolded before us as no day ever had, burned into our memories. We remember what we were doing, how we found out, how we felt, and what we feared.
In the 23 years since a new generation was born and grew up, and 9/11 is different for them. They don’t have our powerful emotional memories, so while they watch the abundant video footage, they may feel some emotion. But there is no personal link to that day. And unless their parents and teachers have been diligent, for many of them, I suspect it might be just another test question.
This is why it is so very important not only to pass on the facts of that day but also to convey the emotional impact we felt and why—how it changed our lives and our world. If we in this room choose not to do that, then we ensure that 9/11 will one day be just a dry recitation devoid of meaning or purpose.
You see, it’s not enough to have a memorial. Its meaning is incomplete without the story behind it. It gives the memorial depth, breadth, and, most importantly, a connection. Missouri’s Tour Guides tell that story in such a way that it connects with our visitors, hopefully, that they learn that Missouri’s history is also their history. We take that responsibility very seriously. For those who once knew, we help them remember. For those who never knew, we help them learn. When people like you lend your support to a memorial, you help ensure that the story is not forgotten, that it never fades, and it will remain just as real and powerful as the day it happened.
I spent several years studying the Civil War, particularly the events surrounding those pivotal three days during July 1863 around Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Two enormous armies collided in that small farm town for no other reason than the presence of the extensive road network.
From July 1st through the 3rd, North and South gave battle. The cost in blood was horrendous, with 51,000 casualties on both sides, including around 10,000 dead.
When we lived in nearby Virginia, I visited the battlefield many times and was always deeply moved by its solemnity. It seemed that I could feel in the landscape the very weight of the tragic loss of life.
One evening, I was standing on the hill known as Little Round Top, lost in my thoughts in the gathering dusk. Nearby, a young family was standing together. I heard the voice of a young girl ask, “Daddy, what happened here?”
The father knelt, gently wrapped his arm around his daughter and began to speak softly. And thus, the story of Gettysburg was passed to a new generation.
Ultimately, that is the essence of what we do aboard Missouri: preserve and pass on the story of this battleship and the country whose flag she still proudly flies into the hearts and minds of new generations and, thus, into the future. In the past, we have always depended on the voices and memories of the veterans of that era. But those voices are falling silent, lost to the merciless ravages of time. It becomes the duty of our voices to carry their memories forward. In a very real sense, Missouri is also their monument, a living, vibrant testament to their courage and valor.
Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, one of the heroes of Gettysburg, was speaking of that battlefield when he said,
Visitors come to the USS Missouri from afar, some generations who never knew of World War II. But they come here and touch the past. Through that touch, they learn of the toil and loss, the courage and valor, the sacrifice and struggle. They sense the darkness of war but revel in the glorious light of hope that shone forth throughout the world when peace was finally restored, restored here on the decks of Battleship Missouri.
This ship must stay alive. Those stories must continue to be told. Each generation must be taught of the past in a way that it becomes personal and meaningful. We preserve, and we pass on. This is our commitment. Your role is no less vital. Without the continued support of people like you, Pier Foxtrot Five would be empty. And a crucial part of our nation’s history would fade into silence and be forgotten.
As long as Missouri exists, we will keep this story alive. We are a memorial, and we have a mission. That mission is to remember—to remember all those who served and especially to remember and honor those who will never be coming home. Join us in that mission. Help us keep the story alive for today, for all the tomorrows yet to come, and for the generations we will never know.
Thank you, and
good evening.
Speech: A Look to the Past, a Charge to the Future
On
December 7th, 1941, at 7:55 AM, the quiet calm of a Sunday morning
was shattered by explosions and the hoarse sound of general quarters alarms.
In
the first few minutes of the attack, hundreds of American Sailors, Soldiers,
and Marines had already lost their lives.
This was the tragedy. Then came
the triumph. The personnel aboard the
ships did not wait for orders but rather reacted in accordance with their
training and, in those same first few moments, filled the sky with
anti-aircraft bursts. It is important to
note that most of them were barely older than these magnificent student musicians
here.
The
war that began with that attack lasted 3 years and 10 months, during which time
some 69 million people lost their lives.
Then,
on September 2nd, 1945, USS Missouri was anchored in Tokyo Bay,
Japan. The destroyer USS Lansdowne
brought a delegation of Japan’s representatives alongside. Among them was the Foreign Minister Mamoru
Shigamitsu. For years, he led the
peace faction within Japan’s government.
This did not make him popular with the hard-liners, who wanted to fight
to the last man and the last bullet. Mr.
Shigamitsu was targeted several times for assassination. One of those attempts cost him his right
leg. It was painfully difficult for him
to have to climb down the side of a destroyer, then climb up the side of this
battleship, and then up an additional ladder in order to arrive on the
starboard side 01 level where the ceremony would take place. I also know that when someone risks their
life several times in the cause of peace, that by definition makes him a tough
guy.
At
the appointed time, General of the Army Douglas MacArthur came on deck and
opened the ceremony with a few words. It
is important to note that in 5,000 years of Japan’s history, she had never been
conquered, never been defeated, never been occupied, never had to surrender to
anybody. So this act of coming here and
submitting to both surrender and occupation was not only unique to their
experiences, but it was also a powerful shock to their entire country. We need to remember that today.
But
when General MacArthur began speaking, he didn’t talk of revenge, retaliation,
or recrimination. Instead, he spoke of
justice, tolerance, peace, and reconciliation.
This took the Japanese completely by surprise. On the day when they had come here to
surrender to their bitterest enemy, the last thing they expected to be treated
with this level of dignity and respect.
When
General MacArthur completed his opening remarks, he invited…not ordered…invited
the Japanese to come forward and sign, which they did. Over the next 23 minutes, the required
signatures were applied, and the war was over.
General MacArthur, speaking over a global radio network, said the
following words:
“Today,
the guns are silent. A great tragedy has
ended, a great victory has been won.
Death no longer rains down from the sky.
The seas bear only commerce. Men
everywhere walk upright in the sunlight.
And the entire world lies quietly at peace.”
One
of the Japanese representatives recorded in his diary that the General’s words
turned the deck of this warship into an altar for peace.
Missouri
is a magnificent sight, a presence both majestic and powerful. She is a vessel of war. But she is also a symbol of peace. It was here on these decks where humanity’s
longest and bloodiest war came to an end.
It was here on these decks where peace was restored. And it was here on these decks where hope was
reborn throughout the world.
That
day was Day 1 of a new way forward. Once
the bitterest of enemies, Japan and the United States became the closest of
friends.
Those
of us who work aboard the Missouri tell this story with respect, dignity,
passion, and pride. Those who once knew
come here and remember. Those who never
knew come to us and learn.
It
is easy to look only at the guns, missiles, and armor and conclude that this is
Missouri's only language. But when you
stand on that deck and look at that plaque, know that this ship of war is also
a place of peace.
This
is how I know my ship, a place where the seemingly impossible dream of peace
became a reality.
I
am proud, so very proud to share this story with you. I hope that from this day we can all realize
what can be done when we are strong enough, united enough, and courageous
enough to do the impossible.
For
our students here, I also have a personal message.
In
the near future, your community, your country, and your world will become your
responsibility. The time for talking and
complaining will end. The time of doing
and fixing will begin. Problems exist,
and more are on the way. Your
intelligence, passion, and energy will be needed.
People
are called ordinary for a reason. They
don’t stand out, they don’t step up, they don’t accomplish much. Ordinary people don’t change the world or
challenge problems. To choose to be
ordinary and average is to float downstream on the current of indifference,
never leaving a sign of their passing.
But the problems remain, the challenges unmet. Lives that could have counted for incredible
things are wasted.
I
challenge you to resist "average." I
charge you to turn your back on "ordinary."
Choose instead to be incredible, magnificent, astonishing. Rise above expectation. All of you have been given individual gifts,
talents, and abilities that belong to no one else. It is your responsibility to use them. Do not ever accept the status quo. Never accept that things cannot be
different because it's just how things are.
I am a member of the Woodstock Generation, and I pass the passion for
change and the energy to change things that was ours to you. I challenge you to create a better place, not
only for you, but for all those who will follow. Your time is now. Do not waste this chance. Do not let us down.
I
watched you march proudly down this pier, and it was an inspiring sight. You must now march just as confidently and
energetically into the future that awaits all of you. Stand tall.
Be strong. Step up and lead with optimism and compassion, driven by
the engine of fresh ideas and the passion of hope.
We
present to you our world. Make it
better. Make it yours.
I
appreciate your coming to my ship today, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your
day aboard the Battleship.
Speech: Time to Lead
There
is a story about a young Marine who won a medal for fearlessly charging an
enemy position. He was asked later how
he summoned the courage for such an act.
He replied, “I wasn’t running toward the enemy. I was running away from my sergeant.”
When
someone joins the military, it can be an unsettling experience. It’s an entirely new and alien
environment. They are rarely sure what
to do or when to do it. In those
moments, they look for help, direction, and assurance. The person they always look to is the one
with all the stripes. There, they will
find knowledge, wisdom, experience, encouragement, and the occasional kick in
the ass. That person is the
Non-Commissioned Officer. That leavening
influence in a unit is essential in the day-to-day of peacetime. It is absolutely critical in war.
It
takes someone special to be a soldier, and it takes something rare to lead
them. The roles of a Staff Sergeant are many and varied. They include training,
administration, instruction, counseling, discipline, and being the subject
matter expert on being a soldier. But
beyond those roles is leadership.
Soldiers
want and need to be led, whether they realize it or not. No matter how confident a soldier is, the
acquisition of experience takes time.
That requires the steadying influence of the “been there, done that”
NCO. Therefore, all NCOs are responsible
for teaching not only the technical aspects of this profession of arms but also
the value of discipline. In battle,
that discipline will keep a young soldier on the line. And alive.
However,
the most important things that an NCO can impart to the troops are the more
profound lessons of courage, honor, integrity, and commitment. These are the most important reasons for
wearing the uniform.
An
NCO helps soldiers grow as they respond to the challenges they face. To confront adversity, rather than turning
away. To learn what it takes to become a
leader. To find within themselves the
power and strength to stand their ground.
This was always for me, as a Chief Petty Officer, the most satisfying
and fulfilling aspect of my job, taking a raw, nervous, inexperienced kid and
watching them become a strong, confident, and skilled fighting sailor. I’m sure many of you standing here also
remember and treasure those moments in your careers.
Admiral
Mike Boorda, a Mustang who rose to the position of Chief of Naval Operations,
once told a group of Chief Petty Officers, “I may run the Navy. But I assure you, the Navy runs because of
you.” This is an undeniable finite truth
that applies to all the armed services.
All the great things the Army has ever done were because the Sergeants
made it happen. You are where the rubber
meets the road. Where battles are won…or
lost.
This
country will likely find itself in another war in the coming years. If that happens, you will be at the tip of
the spear. Know that the outcome of any
battle is absolutely dependent on all of you doing your duty. And on the sergeants to lead the way. But wherever you give battle, make sure that
the enemy knows that field belongs to the United States Army.
Sergeants,
your time is now. Step up. Stand tall. And lead.
Re-learning How to Love -- And Trust Again.
Monday, February 17, 2025
That Day...And What's Coming Next
Saturday, February 08, 2025
The Cost That Must Be Paid for Freedom
Freedom is not free.
This statement has become timeworn, perhaps even trite. But its use, perhaps overuse, hasn’t diminished the fact that it is still fundamentally true.
In what was then colonial America, a group of restless idealists decided that after decades of mistreatment by Britain, enough was enough. After countless hours of fractious, even combative debate, they published their intent to break from the Crown and form a new country.
This was an incredibly bold and courageous move against what was then the most powerful empire on Earth. They were, in fact, committing treason, the punishment for which was death. Also at risk were their families, homes, and everything they had earned and built. The risk was enormous, but they did not hesitate.
The war resulting from that Declaration of Independence was long, brutal, and costly. The army suffered bitter cold, hunger, and sickness. Desertions were common. The war was almost lost on several occasions but for the dynamic presence of a Virginia planter, George Washington. His inestimable leadership, strength, and tactical brilliance kept the army together and allowed him to execute a series of bold, brilliant attacks that eventually drove the British out of America.
Even after such an improbable victory, the internal struggles continued. What kind of government would it be? A republic with a strong central government and subordinate states? Or a confederacy characterized by a weak central authority and autonomous states? Some of these questions were addressed in the Constitution, which required 13 more years of arguing. Other questions would take a costly Civil War to find the answers.
What is most wonderful about this entity we call the United States of America is that we have not yet reached our final form. It has been a continual experiment in freedom and liberty, constrained by responsibility and accountability. This is why the Constitution was never intended to be a final product and would be amended repeatedly. Many ideas have been tried and accepted. Many others have been considered and cast aside. We have made mistakes, yes. But we have not, nor will we ever stop trying to get it right. Today, we are still asking tough questions and seeking difficult answers. Debates go on with the same passion as they did in that hot, humid summer of 1776. We are still a young country compared to the history of this world, and we will always seek a better way, a better life. We continue to challenge expectations, even accepted assumptions. We remain convinced that no matter how magnificent our achievements are, we can always do better.
As a tour guide aboard the USS Missouri Memorial, I talk to people from all over the world. They have told me that what sets Americans apart is our absolute refusal to accept average. As a culture, as a people, we are driven by excellence, and not just the hope but the expectation that we will not only succeed but even exceed the goal. We compete to be the best. We hate losing. Even coming in second causes us to grumble and grind our teeth. It has been that unrelenting drive for excellence that has resulted in our supremacy in so many fields: science, technology, engineering, math, bioscience, medicine, and the arts. We won the race to the moon, to Mars, and the rest of the planets. Today, Voyager I, Voyager II, and Pioneer X, three technological ambassadors built and launched by America, have left our solar system and started their journey into the galaxy. There, they will travel for millennia, carrying a message from humanity to intelligence far beyond that we were here and that our restless, questing intelligence led us to the stars.
It takes courage to challenge the unknown. But America has never lacked that courage. Our willingness as a country to accept that challenge does not come from government mandate. It comes from us, from how our nation was formed: Of the people, By the people, and for the people. President John Kennedy once said, “For in a democracy, every citizen, regardless of his interest in politics, 'holds office.' Every one of us is in a position of responsibility.” We who are here today and those who will follow us will be the ones who determine if we will continue to reach beyond the stars or look only downward and dig our own graves. We are a restless people. Let us always be restless. Our unwillingness to accept the present as permanent will always propel us upwards. In that soaring journey, none of us can afford to sit quietly on the sidelines.
We had a granddaughter named Zoe, who was born with a serious birth defect, missing a part of her fifth chromosome. Now, there are 46 chromosomes in each human cell. Cells are microscopic. Chromosomes even tinier. One might think that missing such an infinitesimally small thing might not be that big of a deal. But in fact, it left her severely disabled. We lost her at the tender age of five months.
Each of us is only one of over 330 million people. Like a chromosome within a cell, that may seem small and inconsequential. But in a representative republic governed by the will of her people, there are no small parts, no insignificant people.
Nora Jones sang a song, “American Anthem,” in which were these words:
There’s no magic wand, no Jedi hand wave that can make that happen. It is too easy to look in the mirror and decide we have nothing to contribute. However, each individual American is a collection of unique gifts, talents, and abilities that can spring to life in the fire of passion and possibility. The individual must open the door and choose to turn those gifts loose upon the world.
However, for this nation to live, we must decide to live together. We have differences, yes. However, each individual has walked a separate path, a unique journey that has shaped their life and their feelings. We don’t have to agree on everything. But we must respect each other’s journey. Instead, let us look at things we have in common that can unite rather than divide us. Remember those remarkable days after 9/11 when we as a nation stood together, arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder. And remember that an America thus united cannot be defeated.
There is no better example of this than the passengers and crew of Flight 93 on that terrible day. If you had been in the airport that morning and encountered one of them and asked later for a description, you might have used the word “ordinary.” As events unfolded, we know now that they were anything but ordinary. In the face of grave danger, they decided together, stood together, and acted…together.
John Wayne once said, “All battles are fought by scared men who’d rather be someplace else.” The actions of those people on that day were called valorous, brave, and heroic. Undoubtedly, they felt fear. But that did not stop them. The biggest difference, after all, between the courageous and the cowardly is how one reacts to that fear. Fear can be allowed to collapse into mindless, paralyzing panic. But at that moment, we must realize that something needs to be done; step up and act. That defines courage, the willingness to push fear aside and do what must be done. Once again, President Kennedy: “The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it.”
We live in perilous times in a dangerous world. Once distant and indistinct, the drumbeats of
war are now beating loudly. We hear them
from the West, from China and North Korea.
We hear them from the East, from Russia and Iran, and in seemingly every
direction from terrorist groups all over the world. It is a time when our greatest courage and
strength is needed. But it is also a
time when we face serious divisions from within. After 9/11, we recognized and embraced that
we were Americans first, last, and foremost.
We found that unity at a moment when we truly needed it. And we can find it again. It was an impassioned Patrick Henry who
proclaimed, “United we stand, divided we fall! Let us not split into factions which must
destroy that union upon which our existence hangs."
The future of The United States of America ultimately depends on what we choose to do today, how we choose to act, and if we choose to stand together. This is our choice and our responsibility. Abraham Lincoln was speaking to Congress, but his words should resonate with us during these divisive times: “Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the latest generation. We, even we here, hold the power and bear the responsibility.”
The freedoms we possess and the freedoms we desire completely
depend upon our willingness to pay the price and endure the cost of those
freedoms. The world is watching us, and
as long as we continue to ring that great bell of freedom, those clear, strong
peals will be heard beyond our country, the sound of hope for those who have
none. A desperate world has thrust
leadership upon us. Let us rise and face that challenge. Let us accept that
responsibility. And let us lead with
intelligence, strength, and compassion.
In our nearly 250 years, the United States of America has accomplished much. But before us is a future fraught with peril, a steep, rocky, and treacherous path over which we must walk, a mountain we must climb.
We must face that mountain in the same way we always
have, with courage, strength, and unity.
This is truly what we are as a nation and who we truly are as a people. This is America! We are Americans! Nobody else can do this. Nobody else will
do this. Let us rise together, work
together, and succeed together. And
together, we will bring humanity into the light of freedom!