Exploring the myriad mysteries of life, from beyond the furthest reaches of the universe to the quiet sanctuary of the human heart.
About Me
- Ralph F. Couey
- Pearl City, HI, United States
- Husband, father, grandfather, friend...a few of the roles acquired in 69 years of living. I keep an upbeat attitude, loving humor and the singular freedom of a perfect laugh. I don't let curmudgeons ruin my day; that only gives them power over me. Having experienced death once, I no longer fear it, although I am still frightened by the process of dying. I love to write because it allows me the freedom to vent those complex feelings that bounce restlessly off the walls of my mind; and express the beauty that can only be found within the human heart.
Monday, November 11, 2024
Veterans Day 2024
Thursday, October 31, 2024
The Spirit of Autumn
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
This Time of Year, This Time of LIfe
Monday, October 07, 2024
Gut Punch...Or Perhaps Not
Tuesday, September 10, 2024
What Was Paid for Freedom
Freedom is not
free.
This statement
has become timeworn, perhaps even trite.
But its use, perhaps overuse, hasn’t diminished the fact that is it
still absolutely fundamentally true.
In what was
then colonial America, a group of restless idealists after decades of
mistreatment by Britain decided that enough was enough. After countless hours of fractious, even
combative debate, together they published their intent to break from the Crown
and form a new country.
This was an
incredibly bold and courageous move against what was then the most powerful
empire on Earth. They were, in fact,
committing treason, the punishment for which was death. Also at risk were their families, their
homes, everything they had earned and built.
The risk was enormous, but they did not hesitate.
The war
resulting from that Declaration of Independence was long, brutal, and
costly. The army suffered bitter cold,
hunger, and sickness. Desertions were
common. The war was almost lost on
several occasions, but for the dynamic presence of a Virginia planter named
George Washington. His inestimable
qualities of leadership, strength, and tactical brilliance not only kept the
army together, but allowed him to execute a series of bold, brilliant attacks
that eventually drove the British out of America.
Even after such
an improbable victory, the internal struggles continued. What kind of government would it be? A republic with a strong central government
and subordinate states, or a confederacy characterized by a weak central
authority and autonomous states? Some of these questions were addressed in the
Constitution, a document that took 13 more years of arguing before its initial
form was finalized in 1789. Other
questions would take a costly Civil War to find the answers.
What is most
wonderful about this entity we call the United States of America is that we
have not yet reached our final form. It
has been a continual experiment in freedom and liberty, constrained by
responsibility and accountability. This
is why the Constitution was never a final product, and would be amended time
and again. Many ideas have been tried
and accepted. Many others have been
considered and cast aside. We have made
mistakes, yes. But we have not yet, nor
will we ever stop trying to get it right.
We are still today asking tough questions and seeking difficult
answers. Debates go on with the same
passion as they did in that hot, humid summer of 1776. We are still a young country when compared to
the history of this world, but we will always be seeking a better way, a better
life. We continue to challenge
expectations, even accepted assumptions.
We remain convinced that no matter how magnificent our achievements, we
can always do better.
In my job as a
tour guide aboard the USS Missouri Memorial, I talk to people from all over the
world. They have told me that what sets
Americans apart is our absolute refusal to accept average. As a culture, as a people, we are driven by
excellence, and not just the hope, but the expectation that we will not only
succeed in that task, but even exceed the goal.
We compete to be the best in all fields, in all endeavors. We hate losing. Even coming in second causes us to grumble and
grind our teeth. It has been that
unrelenting drive that has resulted in our supremacy in so many fields. Science, technology, engineering, math,
bioscience, medicine and the arts. We
won the race to the moon, to Mars and the rest of the planets. Today, Voyager I, Voyager II, and Pioneer X, three
technological ambassadors, built and launched by America, have left our solar
system and started their journey into the galaxy. There, they will travel for millennia,
carrying a message from humanity to intelligences far beyond that we were here,
and that our restless, questing intelligence led us to the stars.
It takes
courage to challenge the unknown. But America
has never lacked that courage. Our
willingness as a country to accept that challenge comes not from government
mandate. It comes, rather, the way our
nation was formed: Of the people, By the
people, and for the people. President
John Kennedy once said, “For in a democracy, every citizen, regardless of
his interest in politics, 'holds office.' Every one of us is in a position of
responsibility.” We, even we
here, and those who follow us will be the ones who determine if we will
continue to reach beyond the stars, or look only downward and dig our own
grave. We are a restless people. Let us always be restless. It will be our unwillingness to accept the
present as permanent that will propel us upwards, along with the rest of
humanity. In that soaring journey, none
of us can afford to sit quietly on the sidelines.
We had a granddaughter, named Zoe who was born with a serious birth defect, missing a part of her fifth chromosome. Now, there are 46 chromosomes in each human cell. Cells are microscopic. Chromosomes even tinier. One might think that missing such an infinitesimally small thing might not be that big of a deal. But in fact, it left her severely disabled. We lost her at the tender age of five months.
Each of us is only one of over 330
million people. Like a chromosome within
a cell, that may seem small and inconsequential. But in a representative republic governed by
the will of her people, there are no small parts, no insignificant pieces.
Nora Jones sang a song, “American Anthem,” in which were these words:
There’s no
magic wand, no Jedi hand wave which can make that happen. It is too easy to look in the mirror and
decide that we have nothing to contribute.
But each individual American is a collection of unique gifts, talents,
and abilities that can spring to life in the fire of passion and possibility. It remains to the individual to open the door
and turn those gifts loose upon the world.
However, in
order for this nation to live, we must decide to live together. We have differences, yes. But each individual has walked a separate
path, a unique journey that has shaped their life and how they feel. We don’t have to agree on everything. But we must respect each other’s
journey. Let us instead look to those
things that we have in common, that can unite, rather than divide us. Remember those remarkable days after 9/11
when we as a nation stood together, arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder. And remember that an America thus united cannot
be defeated.
There is no
better example of this than the passengers and crew of Flight 93 on that
terrible day. If you had been in the
airport that morning and encountered one of them and asked later on for a
description, you might have used the word “ordinary.” As events unfolded, we know now that they
were anything but ordinary. In the face
of grave danger, they decided together, stood together, and acted together.
John Wayne once
said, “All battles are fought by scared men who’d rather be someplace
else.” The actions of those
people on that day have been called valorous, brave, heroic. Undoubtedly, they felt fear. But that did not stop them. The biggest difference, after all, between
the courageous and the cowardly is how one reacts to that fear. For some, the fear collapses into mindless,
paralyzing panic. But others embrace the
realization that something needs to be done, and knowing that they can
act. I think that defines courage, the
willingness to push fear aside and do what must be done. Once again, President Kennedy: “The
cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it.”
We live in
perilous times in a dangerous world. The
drumbeats of war, once distant and indistinct are now beating loudly. We hear them from the west, from China and
North Korea. We hear them from the east,
from Russia and Iran, and in seemingly every direction from terrorist groups
all over the world. It is a time when
our greatest courage and strength is needed.
But it is also a time when we face serious divisions from within. After 9/11 we recognized and embraced that we
were Americans first, last, and foremost.
We found that unity at a moment when we truly needed it. And we can find it again. It was an impassioned Patrick Henry who
proclaimed, “United we stand, divided we fall! Let us not split into factions which must
destroy that union upon which our existence hangs."
The future of The
United States of America is completely dependent on what we choose to do
today; how we choose to act, and if we choose to stand together. This is our choice, and our
responsibility. Abraham Lincoln was
speaking to congress, but his words should resonate within us during these
divisive times: “Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history. The fiery
trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the
latest generation. We, even we here,
hold the power and bear the responsibility.”
The freedoms we
possess, and the freedoms we desire are completely dependent on our willingness
to pay the price and endure the cost for those freedoms. As long as that great bell of freedom rings, those
clear, strong peals will be heard beyond our country, the great sound of hope
for the world.
The United
States of America has accomplished much in our nearly 250 years. But before us is a future, fraught with peril;
a steep, rocky and treacherous path over which we must walk, a mountain we must
climb.
Let us vow to walk together; to climb together, and together we shall stand at the summit and welcome the beautiful light, the dawning of a new day!
A Tribute to Docents
For over a century, battleships were the physical embodiment of a nation’s strength. Much as nuclear-tipped missiles are today’s strategic weapons, battleships filled that function long ago. A government’s ability to enforce its policies and exert its will was tied directly to the number of battleships it could put to sea. In most cases, these great ships never had to fire a shot. All they had to do was show up.
In 1946, the Ambassador from Turkey died in Washington DC. President Truman ordered that the Ambassador be taken home, but not by air. USS Missouri, enjoying some otherwise quiet post-war years, was tasked with carrying the Ambassador back home for the last time. This was seemingly a straightforward and honorable thing to do. But in Turkey, a threat was growing. The Soviet Union, seeking a free passage for their Black Sea Fleet into the Mediterranean had put the Turkish government under tremendous pressure to give up control of the Bosporus and Dardanelles straits. The government of Turkey was becoming shaky, and the people were fearful. But on April 5, 1946, Missouri arrived and dropped anchor in the harbor of Istanbul. The presence of this powerful ship, this unmistakable statement of support for that beleaguered government changed the entire situation. The Turkish government stood tall, knowing they were not alone. The Turkish people had their faith restored. And the Soviets? They backed down, knowing that nothing they had could stand against Missouri. History was changed, this time without firing a shot.
She is a magnificent sight, a presence both majestic and powerful. Battleship Missouri is a symbol of American strength and resolve. She is also a physical reassurance, a promise to our friends that America will stand by you. And, a message to our potential foes…think twice.
We tell the story of this ship so people can connect to it in a deeply personal way. That Missouri’s history and the history of the nation whose flag she still proudly flies is also their history. And they can also feel a sense of pride in the strength and resolve she represents. People from other lands visit us, and they see America in this mighty ship. They feel the shared sense of America’s moral obligation to the world; the lengths we will go to ensure justice and protect the innocent and downtrodden. It is a fact that no nation in history has shed so much of her own blood in the defense of other people’s freedom. That we have, and are still so willing to fight and die for complete strangers. It is so much who and what we are as a people, and to many throughout the world, a presence of sacrificial nobility.
In the battles of war we took a lot of territory from the enemy, more than Rome, Egypt, and Britain combined. But what we had taken, we gave back with one exception. In the words of General Mark Clark, “All we asked was enough of their soil in which to bury our gallant dead.” Consider for a moment a nation that holds and treasures such values above all others. It says something about us, something we should remember and hold close. That even in our darkest, most difficult moments, we will not let go of our humanity.
Yes, Missouri is a battleship; a vessel of war. But she is also a symbol of peace.
It was here on these decks that humanity’s longest and bloodiest war came to an end.
It was here on these decks where two nations, once the bitterest of foes, began a friendship and partnership that would change the future.
It was here on these decks where peace was restored throughout the world.
And it was here on these decks where hope was reborn. That is important. For of all the possible futures, the best future will always be the one founded on hope.
This is the story we tell. Our official title is “Tour Guide;” sometimes we are called “Docent.” But the real reason we are here every day runs so much deeper.
We are custodians of the past; keepers of memory. Those who once knew come to us and remember. Those who never knew come to us and learn. With respect, dignity, and pride we share the story of this great ship, and her place in history.
We are her voice.
We are her legacy.
We are her life.
We will ensure that the world will never forget Battleship Missouri.
Thursday, August 08, 2024
A Prayer for Peace
Father in Heaven,
We live in a world shrouded in hate, anger, and division.
Despite your commandments to love one another,
your children instead choose the darker path,
the path through which flow the forces that are tearing this world and ourselves apart.
We know that this is not the way of peace, but rather the voice of the adversary.
Help us to resist the darkness,
to speak only love, act only in love, and walk only in the way of love
that we may spread the light of your love throughout our world.
Let us forgive, and seek forgiveness.
Help us to walk this very difficult path, always leading with kindness and compassion.
Help us to always remember that we are loved and forgiven,
and that we have to treat others in the same way.
Help us to resist the hot winds of lies, bitterness, and hate
and push back with the cool breezes of truth, love, and reconciliation.
The journey towards the establishment of your kingdom here on earth
begins with the steps
we take today to prepare the way.
In the name of Your Son, the
Prince of Peace,
Amen
Monday, July 29, 2024
The U.S. Navy's Awful Song
Now the Navy.
Anchors Aweigh
has been the Navy's signature song since about 1905. It was the fight
song for the Academy's football team, and eventually came to be the song for
the entire service. This has been the source of grumbles for a long
time. This tells of the experiences of officers boozing it up before
heading out to sea in the morning, which any sailor can tell you is a massively
bad idea. The words are completely exclusive of anything involving the
enlisted personnel. Like the other three services, when the service goes
to war, everyone goes to war. Ship's crews all share the same dangers of
sea duty as well as the hazards of battle. Even in the air contingent,
it's not only the pilots, but the enlisted crews taking care of those aircraft
on the decks of the aircraft carriers, always vulnerable at sea who share the
common dangers.
This is not a new complaint. Enlisted men and women in the Navy have long held a grudge against this divisive song. In my time in the service, I knew a lot of sailors who outright refused to sing Anchors Aweigh because, as one said, "It's got nothing to do with me." This disputes have been aired often in the All Hands news source, in the unofficial Navy Times, and even in the august pages of the Naval Institute publication Proceedings. All have fallen on deaf ears, of course. Officers have their fraternity, and the rest of us are not allowed. That we have, and will, fight and die for this country alongside them apparently makes no difference. I have a hard time understanding this. Why does the Navy continue with a theme song that ignores more that three-fourths of its membership? The other services have chosen the high ground of common service with their songs, and have done so for decades. They can be sung with equal pride and sense of belonging with ALL members of the service, without regard for rank or position. Although I am a proud Navy veteran, and Chief Petty Officer, I have to say in all honesty that I am ashamed of Anchors Aweigh.
Really?
When my writer's blood is up, I can't resist putting down words. My position as a tour guide aboard the Battleship Missouri is a real inspiration for this kind of effort. So one day, I just started jotting down some phrases. One was pretty silly, "Commence Firing! Fire at will! Shoot those guns and kill, kill, kill!" Yeah, pretty bad. But some other phrased snuck through, such as, "Go in strength across the seas, stout-hearted sailors guarding the free." Another one, "Wherever the grey hulls part the waves, freedom and liberty they will save." "Strong, proud sailors man the rails, into harm's way we will sail. Duty calls us to the fight and none shall stand against our might."
Shakespeare, it is admittedly not. But I think the point is clear. If it is "One Navy," then the song should strongly state that, without ambiguity. I would go as far as to have a brand new tune composed, one stirring enough to put Anchor's Aweigh firmly into the dusty bin into which it belongs.
Okay, this was a rant. But really, Admirals, if most of your sailors won't even sing that song, why use it at all?
And that, in the end IS the point.
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
A Signpost Event in Life
They are the things that happen only once in a lifetime that mark the passage of time and also those major transitions in life. In this case, it was the high school graduation of our granddaughter Diana. In some ways, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that this day had arrived.
Looking back, the memories of this now-young lady roll out of my mind in nearly HD clarity. The day she was born, the first years as she grew up. That first day of school, and as her artistic talents blossomed in the chalk masterpieces that covered our driveway. Mostly though, I remember her sweet, loving nature, unselfishness and generosity. She visited us many times, and her family lived with us in Virginia for three years, a priceless collection of moments. I remember the day in Pennsylvania when she and I took our dog Tweeter out for a walk and she got to hold the leash by herself for the first time. There was the time when she got to ski for the first time, her face set in determination as her grandmother ran unsteadily alongside trying to keep up, unnecessarily as it turned out.
Determined.
If there was one descriptive word that encompasses Diana, that would be it. Most ambitious people wear that on their sleeves, making sure everyone knows about it. Diana's gentle nature hides that part of her. Where it becomes apparent is in her actions. Her work ethic, intensity in sports, the utterly focused expression when she plays violin. We once asked her about the multitudinous activities she was involved in, concerned about burnout. She responded, "No, I WANT to do all these things! Everything!"
This fall she will be off to college in far-off New York state, that first tentative trek into the unknown. She seems confident and ready. But what characterizes this signpost moment is the reality that we will no longer be able to protect her. That's scary for those of us who love her the most, an instinctive reaction. But perhaps the time has come when maybe we won't need to, at least on a day to day basis. We'll always be available for advice and counsel, day or night. But the hard part of this moment is realizing that the time has come to let go, to have faith in what we taught her, and what she has learned. There will be times when she will feel alone in adversity. But that is so much a part of growing up, learning how to face those times, how to win. And how to deal with the defeats.
On Graduation Day, we watched as Diana and her fellow grads walked into the ice hockey arena and across the stage. We cheered her loudly, but we were not alone. Other families were there, cheering as well. The love, pride, and joy was palpable as the happy noises cascaded down from the stands to shower over that sea of sky blue caps and gowns. It was a uniting moment for us all.
A few years from now there will be another graduation, this time from college, which I fervently hope I will be healthy enough to attend. Another signpost will be surpassed, and for Diana, another trek will be undertaken.
Today, we are happy and optimistic. But we know that her journey has just begun. Ahead lie challenges that are unforeseeable. But Diana has been launched on a path that will be uniquely hers. We can no longer lead, but must now watch from the sidelines. Part of the heartbreak is the realization that if we have done our jobs well, she won't need us. So, we will have faith. And hope. But she must walk this path on her own, strong, upright, and yes, determined.
She will succeed.
She will be accomplished.
She will fulfill her dreams.
She is, after all, our granddaughter.
Monday, May 27, 2024
Jars of Clay
A pair of hands, strong and capable,
but skilled in the delicate and fine, deposits a mound of wet clay on the
turntable. For now, it is just a lump,
gray and formless. Muddy drops of water
fall to the floor. As yet, it is
ugly. But in the artist’s eyes,
something beautiful can be seen. Slowly,
patiently, the hands begin to shape the clay.
Out of that formless lump a vessel emerges, tall and graceful. The process is hard to follow from the
outside, seeming to emerge by magic, because it is in the artist’s vision,
soul, and skillful hands that this vessel is brought to life.
In the scriptures, we are these
earthenware vessels, these jars of clay.
We are born and shaped in the eyes of God, the artist. But we are fragile, easily chipped, cracked,
and even shattered. As jars, we can no
longer hold water. But what we carry
inside our imperfect selves is not water, but light; the light of God’s love,
the light of His Gospel. Through our
cracks, around our chips, even from our shattered pieces, that light shines out
into this world of darkness. Our value
is no longer what we hold within, but rather what was hidden within now flows
and floods out of us. That light within
us is like holy water, that douses the thirst of sorrow, anger, hate, and
despair. It is only when it is allowed
to flow freely that it delivers the blessing.
Take stock not of our imperfections, of
what we think we can no longer do. But
rather, what we are able to do, and commanded to do, as keepers of the light of
God.